My fiancé and I have a lot of the typical NYC daily stress factors - we live in Brooklyn and our daily commute to work can total 1.5 hours to 3 hours depending on our train karma. We both work hard at our jobs and usually have to run errands or do chores (grocery shopping, laundry, washing dishes, etc...) after we get home from work. This leads us to both be cranky and tired at the end of the day. And we have fallen into a bad habit of unwinding/relaxing/eating dinner in front of the television.
And even as I write this post, I'm thinking how I should know better than to have this kind of bad habit. It is just a weakness that we have (it is more me than my fiancé who is better about turning off the tv). I tend to think way too much and tv is easy way for me to stop thinking about all the stuff that happened that day or stuff I should have accomplished but didn't. It has gotten worse since I got a laptop and this allows me to check my email and do work/school/blog related things with the news on in the background (I have a news-addiction at the moment with the presidential election).
I know tv-watching is "bad". I have "improved" my tv watching by getting a DVR (digital video recorder - it is like "tivo") so I only watch what I want and don't have to deal with commercials. I have considered, but have decided not to throw out my tv. That might be the right choice for some people. And maybe it is something I would do some day. But it is not my style - I like things in moderation. And I think that is what has happened as of late - my tv watching is no longer being done in moderation. As my stress levels have gone up, so has my tv watching.
But it has started to catch up with me. I noticed a couple of weeks ago that having the tv on and not having quiet time is increasing my stress instead of reducing it. My fiancé and I aren't taking the time to check in with each other and talk about how our day went. It wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for the fact that we have been so busy this summer with traveling or having visitors from out-of-town, etc... that we don't get to have quality time on the weekends then either.
So he and I finally had a talk last night after realizing that both of us have been in a funk. We are trying to solve it with a two-pronged approach: 1) find out what causes us daily stress and annoyance that we can possibly change and 2) finding different coping mechanisms for the daily stress. This is what we came up with as a starting point:
- No more eating dinner in front of the tv (particularly when we are both home).
- Instead of watching tv to relax, we are going to go for a walk around the neighborhood. It will give us a chance to unwind and talk about how (badly) our day went.
- I have moved my laptop into my "office" area. No more "multi-tasking" with the laptop and the tv.
- My fiancé is going to try taking the local train home instead of the express train. It may take longer but he may be able to sit and read a book instead of getting irritated about being crammed into the "faster" train with other cranky commuters.
Posts
4 comments:
Several years ago, I thought how odd that I never knew what it was like to live without a television. I also knew that on some level I had a very active mind and a fear of silence. Out went the TV and I've never looked back. No more waiting on cable company maintenance, no overabundance of sound bites (particularly at election time), and no more commercials urging me to eat more or buy more. The radio delivers noise but it is different somehow. The times I might benefit from having a TV, like the Olympics or election night, just haven't drawn me back into the TV life. I have a small TV that I can plug in and I never do. It's been more than 5 years but I've lost count really. I have weekday access to the internet and I see some TV on vacations. But overall, no loss. I may eventually need a DVD player with more stamina than my laptop. But I listen better now that I rely on the radio. I am far less irritated with politicians or swayed by nonsense (as I come to think much of the news is). I just have to make sure I check in with the world occasionally.
These are great ideas and I'd like to hear others. Perhaps you can check out LifeHacker or this site:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/09/simple-living-manifesto-72-ideas-to-simplify-your-life/
I really like the tactical suggestions you provide because they are more concrete and easy to relate to as well as integrate into my own life.
Thanks for your comment Diane. It helps to hear how other people have done it. It gives me inspiration that maybe in the near future I will ditch the tv just for a trial run to see how I do.
Hey - we just moved out of Brooklyn to San Francisco and we're loving it. Definitely missing the energy and hustle though.
Post a Comment